Well it’s about time I get back to the original subject matter of this blog, don’t you think? Meaning, I’m back on the couch to 5k, which is sad, because I pretty much have to start from the beginning. I refuse to start again at week one, but have decided to continue to struggle my way through my half mile, quarter mile personal hell.
I was lying in bed Sunday night thinking to myself, “why can’t I just forge through it? What hurts so bad that I can’t push through five to six minutes? This is stupid.”
Of course, it’s easy to give yourself a pep talk like that at ten p.m. as you and your soft flannel pjs are sandwiched between a heated memory foam mattress pad and a fluffy, soft down comforter. Mmm..it makes my eyes heavy just thinking about it.
Strangely enough, that same pep talk is not as effective in the cold, dark, winter morning when my basement room is a balmy 61 degrees and my comfy cocoon feels more like a survival bunker. And dark is an exaggeration because yesterday morning my first alarm did not go off until eight, since I go into at 11:00 on Mondays. I feel how cold the end of my nose is, and how tired I am from traveling last week. Extending the corporate breakfast to 7:30 a.m. for spouses is not what I call a restful vacation. Neither is dealing with a hung-over and food poisoned husband at 4:45 a.m.
So in guilty bliss I roll over and drift off for another two hours. As usual, I go to work feeling large and loathsome.
This morning, at 6:30, I did what I could not do yesterday morning at 8:00. I got out of bed. It doesn’t make sense. I went to bed later and got up earlier. I still felt incredibly sleepy, even as I climbed on the treadmill, but I kept telling myself that I can dream of this double chin going away, but that’s about all staying in bed will get me. I actually had a dream last night that I was looking in the mirror and pulled my face back to reveal a giant double chin. I then proceeded to jiggle and almost motorboat it into a frenzy.
This is not a huge stretch, and I am not comfortable with that.
I rub my eyes and come to face the reality of my little “forge through it” theory, as I always do. What sounds good in a warm bed hardly materializes in the cold, artificial light of an empty gym. Not that I’m complaining about the lack of occupancy, I’m glad the New Years Resolution crowd has died down. I HATE these people. They all pack it in from about January 1st to about January 10th. Granted, I do a similar thing, but I do it different times in the year, several times over. I’m the anti-New Years gym-goer.
As you can guess, my half mile run kind of went, went real shitty, but went with a small break. I started a quarter mile and just was hating life. And it’s back to the elliptical with my Kindle.
You may have noticed that I don’t believe in New Years Resolutions, but if I had to pick one, I would say I need to focus on at least trying to run three times a week, no matter how terrible. This will condense and force my running and I will HAVE to improve. This is what the couch to 5k intended.
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