I’m sitting at a desk in a very nice hotel room in Boston, sipping on a mimosa I just poured for myself. Its early afternoon, but I really should brew some coffee since my eyes feel very heavy. The problem with me is that I constantly have that nagging feeling of things I “should be” doing. I should be going to the gym, I should be cleaning, I should be going to church, I should be out of bed, I should be watching CNN and not Jersey Shore, I should be keeping up on the blog, I should be eating vegetables, and I definitely should care more.
It’s not like I just sit on the couch all day and this list runs through my head, it just seems like there are not enough hours in the day to get all these things done. No matter how much I do, I’m constantly reminded that I have more. I usually make a joke that I’m still Catholic because I feel guilty all the time, and that’s really what being Catholic is all about.
As of a couple of days ago, I added another “should be” to the list. And right now, as I write this, I should be doing my homework for my MBA.
Class started on Wednesday, the day I flew into this beautiful city. I was excited as I packed my new laptop into my new laptop briefcase. I bought new gel pens and a new notebook with a picture of an old typewriter on the cover. I figured I would get some work done on at least one plane of the two leg journey. I thought this was a great idea since it will make the time pass faster, and it will be productive. I don’t really care for flying. It’s not that I’m scared of it; living through a long-distance relationship has made me an old pro. I just hate the “hurry up and wait” aspect of flying. I also am annoyed with the inevitable cluster and hassle of security. But, the worst part I hate about flying is how disgustingly fat it makes you feel.
Even you thinner people might have a hint of what I am talking about. Those seats are tighter than Warren Buffet and in recent years; my hips are starting to reach capacity in those things. I hate pulling out my seatbelt and stretching it out farther. Each flight I feel like I pull it out farther and farther. This means that pretty much everyone who graces that seat before me is skinnier. My biggest fear is to have to ask for the seatbelt extension. I’m not there yet, but I did sit next to someone who needed it once.
So, with this in mind, I was looking forward to the distraction of constantly touching the hip of the stranger next to me. I had never used a laptop on a plane but I see it done all the time, so I thought nothing of this. But, the first flight didn’t have WiFi and the second flight had it for the affordable price of…only $9.95 to log on for my two hour flight, where electronics are probably only allowed for ninety minutes of it.
Earmuffs people. Delta, go screw yourselves.
A busy night in Boston brings me to Thursday, and I have to log on. I do, and start to navigate through the work I have to accomplish this week. I am nervous, as I have never taken an online class or a business class. I was also just nervous to start school and have homework again. Schoolwork has never been a problem for me, but I have a new respect for what I do now, and I’m shocked that any one of my students makes it to the first day of school. I didn’t know what to expect.
My first assignment is to introduce myself to my class. Everyone introduces themselves on a discussion board, put where they are from, and what they currently do. They are also to include why they chose to pursue an MBA, and if they could open their own business what would they call it and what would be the business.
I have never seriously thought of opening my own business. My other classmates all seemed to have vast business experience and a clear idea in their head. I was terrified. I had nothing, and I smell a class-long project coming out of this initial idea. Yeah, I know those instructor tricks. Whatever shitty idea I come up with, I may have to stick with and build upon for the next six weeks.
I saw some really good ideas, and then I saw this woman who was responding to just about every single post. We’ll call her Heather. Heather is not only asking very critical questions about the hypothetical businesses, but she is also offering rebuttal on the likelihood of such a business succeeding. A few times she told students that they had to rename their business because that name had already been used, smugly attaching the link to the existing business.
Let me make it a point to say that Heather is not the goddamn instructor. I believe her to be a snooty bitch with too much time on her hands. I notice she has not posted her business idea yet. Hmm..I wonder why. I patiently wait until she does, out of sheer curiosity.
She posts something like “I live in Mason City and I have a couple of kids. My day starts at four a.m. when I go for a swim at the Y and then church.” (of course you do) “I go to work and toil all day at a very rewarding job helping people at a non-profit. If I could start a business, well, I already own three businesses.” (sighing and brushing off her shoulder pads, which I imagine she wears) “But I would just expand my full-time non-profit job because it is very important. I’m very busy, but I make sure to go to bed by nine so I can do it all over again.”
You may think I embellished the hell out of that entry, but I didn’t very much. Yes, her job is very important, and it sounds like she does some positive things and is proud of them. But, what I get from it all is that she thinks she is so busy and she’s pretty big shit. She also seems to think it her job to cut down the ideas people submitted for a mere academic exercise. In case you can’t tell, I immediately do not like this woman.
I am extremely tempted to respond, “For someone who is so busy, you do seem to have an awful lot of time to make yourself seem superior to your classmates. Who was counseling the mentally ill clients as you were ‘google-ing’ imaginary business names on company time?”
But, I just became frustrated and go to the gym. You can tell how little I want to do my work when I pick the gym as my alternative. It’s like when I come home to change into workout clothes and I start doing dishes and laundry. Ah, the new dynamic of my student life.
Working out on the road is always more of a victory for me because it shows more discipline. It’s rather easy to tell myself I’m on vacation and I often convince myself not to go. But I told myself I could brainstorm on my imaginary business (I really have to bring my A game on this one) while I did some cardio. Well, that’s what I should have done. Instead, I watched Maury and laughed out loud to a guy who got “Not the Father” shaved into the back of his head. Guess what, that guy had to get a new haircut. Poor trashy Daddy. I did flip from that to CNN to make myself feel a little better.
This morning I found myself without a solid idea, so I did what I do best in my high school and undergrad years. I winged it. Two mimosas in, I decided I would open a book store that was made for adults (I don’t mean porn, I just mean no children’s books.) I would enjoy helping people find a great book and pairing with a good wine, that I would also sell. My bookstore is called “It Gets Better With Page.”
And no, I did not google it. I’m sure Busy Heather will do that for me.
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